So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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