did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
