I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Randomize
