Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
