i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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