please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
