I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
