I wanna bring you to show and tell
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
