I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
