Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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