State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
