Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
