my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I need to stop coming to work sober
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
