Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
