were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
