Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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