If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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