Grow some girl-balls and come out already
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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