No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
