pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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