we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
