that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
