I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
