It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
