No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
