worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
