North Korea, Best Korea!
i would punch a child for taco bell
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
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