talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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