Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
