I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
What drink are we having for lunch?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
