Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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