found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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