glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
