Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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