I faked an abortion last night.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
