what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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