I'm so fucking centered right now
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
