we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
