she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
