Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
