i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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