they said they heard you say put it in my butt
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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