it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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