Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
