I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
