I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Two words: nipple clamps
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