Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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