you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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