I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
