the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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