Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
