i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
