i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
