problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i believe in u and ur pee
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
